Now let's talk about chemo treatments. Obviously they will vary with the type of cancer you have and that is going to be a fairly complicated discussion between your doctor and you. I will offer these words of advice...find out all you can about your possibilities via the internet so you know what to expect. I still think even with my research and the doctor's help I didn't know enough about the possible side affects and what could treat them if they developed. That said here we go.
Compared to chemo the surgery was a walk in the park. I decided to go with an experimental treatment for colon cancer that was available to me. The nausea was to be reduced, although my hair might thin out, chances were that I would not lose all of it, and compared to other forms of treatment, the side effects weren't many, so they told me.
Chemo began in June of 2008 shortly after the surgery and I was on schedule to have Wednesday and Friday sessions. I was also sent home with a port a pack of chemo which was set to run out on Friday afternoons. This way I could get my shot of neulasta (let me tell you this crap sucks and is very expensive besides) but more about that later.
My chemo drip was a combination of meds called eloxatin, plus Zofran for nausea and Proclorperazine, coumadin because I developed a blood clot and of course the nasty neulasta. Wednesday sessions began at about 1pm and after initial weight check, blood pressure, temp, and blood draw to check white cells the treatment began. Since I had the chest port put in that involved hooking me up and sitting in a nice reclining chair watching tv or sleeping until about 4:30 or 5:00 when the meds ran out. Then getting unhooked from the drip, get attached to the port a pack and going home.
Now I know I shouldn't complain because obviously I am alive if writing this blog but some of the side effects are really cruddy. First...severe and I do mean severe reaction to cold. That included touching, drinking and eating, entering the frozen food aisle in a store and anything else cold that you can possibly think of. Believe me when I tell you that nothing compares to eating and drinking warm tuna, milk, orange juice (when my stomach could handle it) ice cream which I had to eliminate altogether because once it was warm it was liquid.
Second...THRUSH, a most disgusting symptom that occurs in your mouth as all of your good cells are killed off by the chemo you become susceptible to other nasties. With thrush you develop white patches on the tongue, inner sides and roof of the mouth and guess what? No one told me about this one. It can become severe if left untreated so you must take antibiotics and reduce foods with sugars and yeast in them. This wasn't really a problem because during the chemo believe it or not I developed an aversion to sugary foods and couldn't stand them. Meat on the other hand became a necessity of life and in steak the more rare the better. Barely cooked was how I came to order beef with some very unusual looks from waiters if I were eating out. Alcohol was definitely out of the question but every now and then if I felt up to it a shot of rum tasted pretty darn good because it is not a liquor you have to drink cold so it worked. Oh and did I mention that the thrush can also get into your esophagus and if really bad your liver and other parts of your body?
Finally we come to the neulasta. Who ever invented this stuff certainly has a death wish...at least among cancer patients. Now I know it is supposed to do good but if you are aware that as an adult you pretty much stop making white blood cells. The neulasta forces your body to produce them from of all things your pelvis and hips. I can't tell you nor describe the agony of this process. All I will say is that for the entire weekend I was pretty much confined to bed until Monday morning when I had to return to school and even then sometimes I just couldn't do it. Oh and one more thing, it gives you really, really, really, bad diarrhea. Sorry to be gross but it does.
Now let's talk coumadin...again one of those drugs that is supposed to help you but it's side effects can be random or spontaneous bleeding. NNNIIIIIICCEEE! So in my case I had decided to return to work as soon as I could, no time to lay around feeling sorry for myself was what I figured but that can also have drawbacks. Most of the time I was pretty good but this one particular day I happened to be teaching my bio class and sneezed pretty badly about three times in a row. Next thing I know my nose is dripping gobs of blood and my students are yelling. I quickly sent one to get my friend Sabrina who came running back with of all things a tampon to stop the bleeding. Thank God we have prep rooms between our bio rooms because it actually worked. The kids got a great laugh out of it and consequently when I explained what I was going through they were real troopers. They knew exactly who to go get depending on what class I was in just in case it happened again. There are times when kids can really step up to a challenge and I must say that my students during 2008-2009 were some of the best that I ever had. We probably didn't get much done compared to other years because of me being in and out of school but better people I could not have asked for. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart...even Xhelil.
An accounting of how to survive colon cancer without really trying!
Sandals, St. Lucia
God's Beauty...Worth Living For!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
My Big Sister
Now for a description of my only living immediate family relative. My big sister Jan, commonly known among the family as "annie keogh" She couldn't say her name when she was little. As kids I have to say we didn't get along all that well. She was mom's good girl, grade A all the way and I do mean that with fondness now. We used to have awesome knock down drag out fights which we usually ended up keeping a secret from our parents. She has a heart as big as well....Texas, but back then I just didn't get her. She went to JCSC same as me and while my father threatened to constantly pull me out of school if I didn't get good grades (remember the GPA of 3.84 and I made dean's list every semester except 1) Janet happily played hearts in the cafeteria with her other friends who did not go to classes either. She made me swear not to tell dad but eventually she did and dropped out of school. Consequently she went back much later and finished and works for a really wonderful guy out in Surprise Arizona.
Unlike many of us Janet married and stayed married to her childhood sweetie, Tommy who was I must say, quite cute in his day, long boyish but neat hair, played the guitar and could sing. Let's just say that today he looks and acts like Santa or at least one of his elves. They married in March of 1975 and immediately departed for Germany because Tom was in the air force. Along came two great kids over the years, Jennifer (knick-name...the princess, nuf said) and Sean. Love them both dearly and I must say Janet and Tom did something right because those kids are great and not just because they are my niece and nephew.
Anyway back to Janet...although out in Az. when I was diagnosed she called at least weekly and often she was the only recipient of tears, frustration and anger as I moved from one stage to another of the cancer process. While I was angry and hurting, she was the calm voice urging me to do all the right things, eat, rest, even cry if I had too, and knowing how deeply she relies on her belief in God...which I admit is ever so much stronger than mine to this day, I'm sure a few prayers were said for the sake of her baby sister. I truly believe that it was more her faith than mine that pulled me through. I am a believer in the words of Billy Joel...only the good die young, but I believe that Janet is still here because she has yet to fulfill whatever plan is out there for her. She is one of God's angels on earth. I love you sis!
Unlike many of us Janet married and stayed married to her childhood sweetie, Tommy who was I must say, quite cute in his day, long boyish but neat hair, played the guitar and could sing. Let's just say that today he looks and acts like Santa or at least one of his elves. They married in March of 1975 and immediately departed for Germany because Tom was in the air force. Along came two great kids over the years, Jennifer (knick-name...the princess, nuf said) and Sean. Love them both dearly and I must say Janet and Tom did something right because those kids are great and not just because they are my niece and nephew.
Anyway back to Janet...although out in Az. when I was diagnosed she called at least weekly and often she was the only recipient of tears, frustration and anger as I moved from one stage to another of the cancer process. While I was angry and hurting, she was the calm voice urging me to do all the right things, eat, rest, even cry if I had too, and knowing how deeply she relies on her belief in God...which I admit is ever so much stronger than mine to this day, I'm sure a few prayers were said for the sake of her baby sister. I truly believe that it was more her faith than mine that pulled me through. I am a believer in the words of Billy Joel...only the good die young, but I believe that Janet is still here because she has yet to fulfill whatever plan is out there for her. She is one of God's angels on earth. I love you sis!
Friday, May 27, 2011
How To Deal With The People Who Love You Most
Now this was pretty hard for me. As I said before I am a pretty independent woman. I was raised to be rather self sufficient from the time I was in about 6th grade. My mom moved out and my dad pretty much had to raise two daughters. Needless to say I am a perfectionist to a point, can be hypercritical, like knowing exactly what I will be doing and when, and have never really needed the huggy kissy kind of love relationship that some depend on. Don't get me wrong I love a good love story and in some aspects I am actually living a great one. To explain...
I first knew my current hubby Mike while I was a senior in high school. He played guitar in what I called "the cult" of young spirited individuals called "Up With People". If you are in your late 50's, early 60's you might remember them. Anyhow, I was dating one of the other guys who were acquainted with the group and in those days, relationships were like mini committments. After having a three year relationship, things were headed in the wrong direction for me and it was broken off. Mike had also gone his way and as far as I knew was happily married.
Met a guy in college, thought I was head over heels in love, married at 21 two weeks after my college graduation. The marriage didn't last, but by then I had two little boys Jeff and Rob mentioned earlier. Basically I had resigned myself to remaining single. Most guys I met during this time as dates set up by well meaning friends were pretty ridiculous. There is no other way to describe this period of my life. The guys were tall, short, jacked, fat, I kept thinking this is nuts I don't need a man that desperately to fullfill my life but I really wanted a good solid role model for my boys.
Somewhere around this time, I was having a conversation with my sister who told me that Mike had stopped out to visit her out in Arizona and was divorced. Always the big sister, wanting to see me happy she suggested I give him a call. Well that was memorial day 1991 and we just seemed to click.
My boys got along with him and he was the do it all dad that they needed in their lives while treating me like most women deserve to be treated. He is loving, supportive, and a genuine good guy with a tremendous heart, not only for me but anyone I bring into our family circle. I think he believes that if "jeanne loves them enough to include them in her life, then that's good enough for me." I can ask him for anything and it is lovingly done. Our wedding was May 26th 1995 and it has been a fabulous life since then. Mike is the very best man I know and a huge factor in my recovery. He would do anything for me.
My boys...Here is where I don't know where to start. Jeff is big and scary now...he wasn't always. He was long and lean as a baby and a great swimmer from the time he was a little kid. For some inane reason he wanted to play football and quite truthfully although we supported him...let's just say it wasn't his sport! Many nights were spent on the cold, wet and damp Vernon flats and elsewhere watching him do football. Finally at some point in high school he decided it wasn't for him, left it, and became a distance swimmer for school. He departed for the snowy hills of Colorado where he attended Johnson and Wales for culinary arts. While there he met his adorable, crafty, energetic, and almost but not quite 6 ft. tall wife Kaleene and now they reside in Denver with two mini pins Boo and Bug. Did I mention that Jeff is about 6ft 8. Well the dogs are not exactly what I hoped for in grandkids but I haven't given up hope yet. Its only sad that they live so far away and also in a place where it can literally snow through May. I will never live there even if grandkids do come along as much as I would love seeing them I am doing my best to get out of the snow LOL. Jeff came out in October 2008 to visit and help me, I think he just kind of wanted to check up on me and make sure I was truly ok and that he had to see for himself. Unfortunately he brought a big blizzard of ice with him. Jeff I really love you, appreciate the thoughtfulness but go home now you jinxed the weather.
Now let's talk Rob. This kid has been my nemesis ever since he was born. Kind of sickly with fluid in his lungs at birth that developed into childhood asthma, he to this day, remains the child you would love to kill. Opinionated, outspoken, motion wrapped into a package that started out tiny and kind of chubby. He was the antithesis of his brother so much so that we nicknamed him the "weeble" His little baby body looked like an egg! Now he is very tall and built very lean...much like my dad was. Has the same hair which he tries to tame but we know it's still there just waiting to bust out in curls. Rob was in grad school when I was diagnosed and he offered to give it up and come home...needless to say Mike and I didn't work hard to have him give up with only a few months to go so we made him stay down in Virginia and hopefully some day when he is making oodles of money he will thank us for making him do grad school while he was still young. Oh I failed to mention that all he did was bitch about school the whole time he was going. He also graduated with honors and promptly called me to gloat that he had a higher GPA than my 3.84. Quite frankly, he deserved it. He worked somewhat hard! There Rob I said it. LOL but that's all the credit I am giving you.
So there you have the background on the family. I do love them dearly no matter what but sometimes I just need to be by myself. Or even better....just out with the ladies. The moral here if any is that your family is what they are. Take what you need from them to feed your inner soul. Talk to them, share with them, enjoy quiet times with them, let them take on some of your pain, and you will have those moments. In return, they will give you their support, their love, their laughter, maybe even more of themselves than they had. That in itself is worth everything.
To my guys...even though I don't always say it. "I Love You All Very, Very Much".
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Now That Personal Affairs Are in Order, What Next?
Surgery complete, Will Made, How do you go about explaining to people what has happened to you?
In my case although I did realize something had to be wrong as I said I never thought it was cancer. My diagnosis was completed by February but me being me I had to work through a big wrestling tournament that our school holds each year. I am chief cook and bottle washer with the help of some really, really, great friends. But as good as they are, something made me hold back. I think in my mind if I said the word "CANCER" out loud to anyone then it would definitely be true, if I didn't say it then it wouldn't be true.
Somewhere around late April or early May a friend at school had a deck party and while we were all sitting around having a few cold adult beverages, we got to talking about relationships, kids, etc and I broke the news. At first they were stunned but true to form they rallied quickly and all made an agreement that although they knew, we would all keep quiet until I was ready to tell the school. Crazy as it seems I thought they would use it as a chance to let me go as budget worries were just beginning to rear their ugly head.
I finally went to the principal with the help of a good strong woman in the building who had earlier taught me the ropes at WV waaaaaaaay back in 1994. Actually I was afraid I would start to cry and my boss really really hated emotional displays. Thank you Monica for your strength at that time. It went very well and the following week we had a staff meeting and the news was broken to the remainder of the building. So many were so supportive it was a great feeling.
From that point on it became easier to deal with all of it. I told Sue, Vicky, Pat, Patti, Sara, and everyone rallied to not only console but support me. I love these ladies to death for that and of course there are others like Barb & John who also made this so easy for both Mike and me.
One person in particular amazed me at this time, someone not in my department but also not someone I thought would gravitate to my personality. She made sure I was taking care of myself with books to read, food that was tempting and phone calls...I can't tell you how much those phone calls meant because some days lying in bed made me feel really sad and lonely. She was mean enough to not let me feel sorry for myself and even when I did she would tell me that it was ok and then to snap out of it. I cherish that in her that allowed me those weepy pissy moments when I just wanted to give in to the pain and she wouldn't let me.
I say pissy but believe me when I tell you how angry this disease can make you. And that anger can come out at some of the people that you love and care for the most. Believe it or not they will understand.
In my case although I did realize something had to be wrong as I said I never thought it was cancer. My diagnosis was completed by February but me being me I had to work through a big wrestling tournament that our school holds each year. I am chief cook and bottle washer with the help of some really, really, great friends. But as good as they are, something made me hold back. I think in my mind if I said the word "CANCER" out loud to anyone then it would definitely be true, if I didn't say it then it wouldn't be true.
Somewhere around late April or early May a friend at school had a deck party and while we were all sitting around having a few cold adult beverages, we got to talking about relationships, kids, etc and I broke the news. At first they were stunned but true to form they rallied quickly and all made an agreement that although they knew, we would all keep quiet until I was ready to tell the school. Crazy as it seems I thought they would use it as a chance to let me go as budget worries were just beginning to rear their ugly head.
I finally went to the principal with the help of a good strong woman in the building who had earlier taught me the ropes at WV waaaaaaaay back in 1994. Actually I was afraid I would start to cry and my boss really really hated emotional displays. Thank you Monica for your strength at that time. It went very well and the following week we had a staff meeting and the news was broken to the remainder of the building. So many were so supportive it was a great feeling.
From that point on it became easier to deal with all of it. I told Sue, Vicky, Pat, Patti, Sara, and everyone rallied to not only console but support me. I love these ladies to death for that and of course there are others like Barb & John who also made this so easy for both Mike and me.
One person in particular amazed me at this time, someone not in my department but also not someone I thought would gravitate to my personality. She made sure I was taking care of myself with books to read, food that was tempting and phone calls...I can't tell you how much those phone calls meant because some days lying in bed made me feel really sad and lonely. She was mean enough to not let me feel sorry for myself and even when I did she would tell me that it was ok and then to snap out of it. I cherish that in her that allowed me those weepy pissy moments when I just wanted to give in to the pain and she wouldn't let me.
I say pissy but believe me when I tell you how angry this disease can make you. And that anger can come out at some of the people that you love and care for the most. Believe it or not they will understand.
How To Arrange the Rest of Your Life While Losing Your Mind!
Well I gave you some details up to the tour of the chemo center. Next came the very difficult task of getting my affairs in order "just in case". Sad to say as educated as I am, making a will had always given my the willies. It seemed to me that this was so final but since my darling husband was not the father of my two sons I knew I had to get in gear and make some arrangements.
Enter the infamous Krausinator as my youngest always referred to him. An attorney prior to teaching, Drew managed to make this process for me and my husband Mike so easy. He handled every detail from start t o finish and even asked the questions that probably both Mike and I should have. Who would have known right? Believe it or not my kids were already independent of our house, Jeff was married and living in Colorado, Rob was a graduate student at Virginia Commonwealth University. All I thought about was what would happen to my dogs! How silly right? I kept forgetting that Mike would be left behind with all 3 of them. Poor man!
I have these words of advice to all of you out there even if you are not currently ill or recovering. Make a plan while you still have time and stick to it. Better sooner than later and you will be thinking clearly! Not in the fog of being diagnosed with cancer.
My First Cancer Blog
Hi Everyone,
My name is Jeanne and I am recovering from colorectal surgery in 2008. I was diagnosed "accidentally" as far as I am concerned and probably could have never known that I had cancer except for one thing...I am usually pretty active and involved both in my school and community and I found that when coming home at night even if early, I was falling asleep.
Now if that sounds strange to you it was to me too, because I teach biology and anatomy and with my usual list of cancer detection freebies, never did it say you would be sleepy. So after many trips to doctors who tested me for Lyme Disease, Mono, Epstein Barr, and even did many blood tests to detect cancer, every test came out negative.
I then contacted a great gastro guy Dr. Beckman in Sussex and boy did things change quickly. He checked me out, scheduled a colonoscopy ASAP and within about two weeks I entered St. Clare's Hospital in Sussex for my test. I was pleasantly surprised by the whole cleansing process because all I had heard was how awful it was. Well let me tell you although it wasn't like drinking a nice big chocolate egg cream or for you youngsters a chocolate milk shake, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated.
The surgery itself was for approximately 45 minutes and the staff at the hospital was so friendly and kind, working very hard to make me feel comfortable. I was put under by the anesthesiologist and then it seemed like I was waking up. Truth be told I was woken up after only about 15 minutes.
My one nurse Debbie (a mom of one of my students had tears in her eyes) she didn't have to say a word. I knew what she could not say! The doctor returned and told me that 30 nodes had to be removed. I was in Stage 3 colon cancer. What a shock! Physically I was at my best weight, blood pressure, etc. ever. All I thought was how could this have happened to me?
I then met with Drs. Hernando and Abbasi. Dr. H would do the surgical procedures while Dr. A. would be the oncologist that would be doing my chemotherapy. I could not have asked for a better surgeon although to me he was like a "Doogie Howser" He looked all of 18 years old while I was a 54 year old woman. He explained two different procedures to me based on what he might find once I was opened up in surgery. I chose to have a port put into my chest, just above the right breast. I did this because I do not have great veins for blood getting so this was a good choice for me. Some of you might prefer your arm. I do not believe one is any better, just personal choice based on my physical make up and how I wanted to appear. My intentions were that I would look less "cancerous" to students who might have a hard time dealing with my condition. Either way I don't think that ports are fun.
The surgery was approximately 4 hours in length. I had about 15 inches of my colon removed from the appendix up. An additional freebie was the removal of the appendix. It was not affected but Dr. H assured me that taking it out at the same time would be beneficial. We wouldn't have to worry about it later. I was truly lucky in that he was able to do this surgery via laparoscopy. In other words...basically through my belly button which warrants less surgical time, less recovery time, and for me this was great news with my stage of cancer. I had been working myself up into quite a state thinking I would have to have a colostomy bag. I knew this would not fit into my lifestyle and I am so happy that "Doogie" was an expert in this type of surgery. I think I fell in love with him for that brief amount of time.
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