Now this was pretty hard for me. As I said before I am a pretty independent woman. I was raised to be rather self sufficient from the time I was in about 6th grade. My mom moved out and my dad pretty much had to raise two daughters. Needless to say I am a perfectionist to a point, can be hypercritical, like knowing exactly what I will be doing and when, and have never really needed the huggy kissy kind of love relationship that some depend on. Don't get me wrong I love a good love story and in some aspects I am actually living a great one. To explain...
I first knew my current hubby Mike while I was a senior in high school. He played guitar in what I called "the cult" of young spirited individuals called "Up With People". If you are in your late 50's, early 60's you might remember them. Anyhow, I was dating one of the other guys who were acquainted with the group and in those days, relationships were like mini committments. After having a three year relationship, things were headed in the wrong direction for me and it was broken off. Mike had also gone his way and as far as I knew was happily married.
Met a guy in college, thought I was head over heels in love, married at 21 two weeks after my college graduation. The marriage didn't last, but by then I had two little boys Jeff and Rob mentioned earlier. Basically I had resigned myself to remaining single. Most guys I met during this time as dates set up by well meaning friends were pretty ridiculous. There is no other way to describe this period of my life. The guys were tall, short, jacked, fat, I kept thinking this is nuts I don't need a man that desperately to fullfill my life but I really wanted a good solid role model for my boys.
Somewhere around this time, I was having a conversation with my sister who told me that Mike had stopped out to visit her out in Arizona and was divorced. Always the big sister, wanting to see me happy she suggested I give him a call. Well that was memorial day 1991 and we just seemed to click.
My boys got along with him and he was the do it all dad that they needed in their lives while treating me like most women deserve to be treated. He is loving, supportive, and a genuine good guy with a tremendous heart, not only for me but anyone I bring into our family circle. I think he believes that if "jeanne loves them enough to include them in her life, then that's good enough for me." I can ask him for anything and it is lovingly done. Our wedding was May 26th 1995 and it has been a fabulous life since then. Mike is the very best man I know and a huge factor in my recovery. He would do anything for me.
My boys...Here is where I don't know where to start. Jeff is big and scary now...he wasn't always. He was long and lean as a baby and a great swimmer from the time he was a little kid. For some inane reason he wanted to play football and quite truthfully although we supported him...let's just say it wasn't his sport! Many nights were spent on the cold, wet and damp Vernon flats and elsewhere watching him do football. Finally at some point in high school he decided it wasn't for him, left it, and became a distance swimmer for school. He departed for the snowy hills of Colorado where he attended Johnson and Wales for culinary arts. While there he met his adorable, crafty, energetic, and almost but not quite 6 ft. tall wife Kaleene and now they reside in Denver with two mini pins Boo and Bug. Did I mention that Jeff is about 6ft 8. Well the dogs are not exactly what I hoped for in grandkids but I haven't given up hope yet. Its only sad that they live so far away and also in a place where it can literally snow through May. I will never live there even if grandkids do come along as much as I would love seeing them I am doing my best to get out of the snow LOL. Jeff came out in October 2008 to visit and help me, I think he just kind of wanted to check up on me and make sure I was truly ok and that he had to see for himself. Unfortunately he brought a big blizzard of ice with him. Jeff I really love you, appreciate the thoughtfulness but go home now you jinxed the weather.
Now let's talk Rob. This kid has been my nemesis ever since he was born. Kind of sickly with fluid in his lungs at birth that developed into childhood asthma, he to this day, remains the child you would love to kill. Opinionated, outspoken, motion wrapped into a package that started out tiny and kind of chubby. He was the antithesis of his brother so much so that we nicknamed him the "weeble" His little baby body looked like an egg! Now he is very tall and built very lean...much like my dad was. Has the same hair which he tries to tame but we know it's still there just waiting to bust out in curls. Rob was in grad school when I was diagnosed and he offered to give it up and come home...needless to say Mike and I didn't work hard to have him give up with only a few months to go so we made him stay down in Virginia and hopefully some day when he is making oodles of money he will thank us for making him do grad school while he was still young. Oh I failed to mention that all he did was bitch about school the whole time he was going. He also graduated with honors and promptly called me to gloat that he had a higher GPA than my 3.84. Quite frankly, he deserved it. He worked somewhat hard! There Rob I said it. LOL but that's all the credit I am giving you.
So there you have the background on the family. I do love them dearly no matter what but sometimes I just need to be by myself. Or even better....just out with the ladies. The moral here if any is that your family is what they are. Take what you need from them to feed your inner soul. Talk to them, share with them, enjoy quiet times with them, let them take on some of your pain, and you will have those moments. In return, they will give you their support, their love, their laughter, maybe even more of themselves than they had. That in itself is worth everything.
To my guys...even though I don't always say it. "I Love You All Very, Very Much".
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